


Decisions

by krisrussel



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-29 08:52:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/685118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krisrussel/pseuds/krisrussel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has to make a decision that will change his life drastically. Will he be able to make the right one? <br/>Set during 'Rising'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something that has been spooking around in my head for a long time and now finally wanted to come out. Also a big thanks to my beta SK *hugs*

Major John Sheppard stared at the water in front of him, barely taking in the glorious sight of the enormous red bridge. One of the biggest secrets ever known to mankind had been revealed to him and he had been given a choice; either he stayed on Earth, stationed at McMurdo and spent the rest of his military career as a chauffeur for the Stargate personnel. Or he could become a part of the actual Stargate program by joining an expedition that would bring him to another galaxy. It was a mission that held the possibility of never returning to Earth again. But what would be a possible reason for him to stay on Earth in the first place? He was divorced and he had never spoken to his ex again since then. He had no kids. His brother disliked him and his father even more. His mother wasn't alive anymore. He only had a couple of friends and they weren't really friends, just Air Force buddies and he hadn't had a steady relationship in years. There was absolutely nothing keeping him on Earth.  
But then again, it was unknown what they would face once they stepped through the Stargate. They could encounter a fearsome enemy that would kill them all slowly and very painfully. They could encounter some unknown disease that would kill them all very slowly and painfully. But then again, maybe they'd find a place he could call home. Maybe he could make real friends and find people he actually considered family.   
He sighed.   
Who was he kidding?

John stared at the coin in his hand. Would he leave his decision up to faith?  
The expedition would be a challenge and he always welcomed a good challenge. But he'd be working under Colonel Sumner and he had already noticed the man didn't like him one bit. Would he risk the wrath of yet another superior with the chance that if they ever did make contact with Earth again he'd be one of the first to be sent back?  
Then again, there was Doctor Elizabeth Weir. He'd had an entire conversation with her after he'd accidentally sat in that weird looking chair and activated the pretty light show above his head that only one other person had ever managed to activate before without really trying. She had almost begged him to join the expedition after that and he'd almost agreed, just because of the tone of her voice. She didn't care about his black mark, didn't care about his reputation and had faith in him. She wanted to give him a real chance at a time everyone else had given up on him. It made him feel proud and that was something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

He wanted to join the expedition and start with a clean slate again. But at the same time he was terrified he'd screw up and get people killed. Even if he didn't screw up, people would still get killed. He was sure of that and he'd already met a couple of the people that would be joining the expedition. He liked them all, except maybe that McKay guy, and he didn't want to see them get killed... not even that McKay guy.  
Sighing, he raked a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. He hated life-altering decisions like these, so he looked at the coin again.  
He felt like a coward but he didn't want to make the decision.  
"Heads, I go. Tails, I don't go." He mumbled and flipped the coin. He caught it and slapped it on the back of his other hand, taking a breath before revealing it.  
Tails... he wasn't going.  
A twitch of regret sliced through him, but he ignored it and took his cellphone out of his pocket.  
Dialing a number he knew by heart (he was insanely good with numbers), he waited for someone to answer.  
*This is Weir.*  
For a second he was taken aback as he hadn't expected she'd answer it. But he found his voice again before the silence stretched too long.  
"Doctor Weir. This is Major Sheppard."  
*Major, it's good to hear from you.*  
He could hear the smile in her voice and was surprised by that. Was she actually glad to hear from him?  
"Yes. I still need to give you my answer."  
*Of course, Major.*  
Again he could hear something more in her voice, anxiety and expectation. How could he hear that by just those three words?  
"It was a difficult decision."  
*I understand.*  
Now she sounded slightly disappointed and John shook his head. He must be imagining things.  
"I euhm..."  
*Major, I can hear by the tone in your voice that you're going to decline, no need to keep me waiting, so out with it.*  
He was taken aback again. She had heard that by the tone in his voice? Suddenly he wasn't so sure about that coin toss anymore. She intrigued him... had intrigued him since the moment she had asked who he was. And suddenly he couldn't say ‘no’ anymore. He wanted to get to know her, wanted to know how it was possible they could hear things like that about each other just by talking on the phone.  
"Don't be so sure of that, Doc."  
Even though she hadn't said a word yet, he knew her smile was returning.  
*Really, Major?*  
"Yes. Count me in."  
The mission wouldn't be his challenge. It would be her. And he was really looking forward to that.

The End... or the beginning?


End file.
